The Cristina Yang Project
by Chapo
Summary: It's about surgery, blood and vacation. CristinaBurke.BANG outside the hospital.
1. Chapter 1

"Bored! I'm soooooooo bored!"

"No surgery today? I thought Burke was performing a CABG today and you'd have been there watching." Meredith heard Cristina sneer at the other end of the line.

"He was! But guess what? Burke and Bailey have decided they wanted my life to be a hell. Who do they think they are? Like Satan and Lilith?"

Meredith couldn't help laughing, picturing Cristina pacing up and down in her empty apartment. Cristina always became snappy when she was deprived of surgery. The blond intern tried to remain serious in order not to upset her best friend more than she already was.

"What happened exactly? Did they try to stab you with their pitchforks?"

"Worse." Cristina sighed. "If they had tried doing that, I could have jumped aside so they would have stabbed each other... Then they would need surgery... But they are evil, remember? They just ordered to close the gallery when they saw me… And then Bailey threatened to report me to the Chief so that he doubles my vacation."

Meredith giggled.

"Mer! It's not funny! What am I supposed to do when everybody else is busy cutting? It's been 12 hours and I already miss the blood…"

"There are plenty of things you could do!"

"Yeah, sure! And what kind of things? Tell me, bright and domestic Meredith, because I can't figure out any of them now!"

"Well, let me think… You could… have sex?"

"You're dirty Mer. You can't even think of something else?"

"I'm not dirty!"

"Oh yes you are!" Cristina sighed and pouted. "Besides, Burke won't be home until 8."

"That's what's bothering you, isn't it? That Burke isn't there with you." Meredith accused, knowing that saying such things would be upsetting to Cristina, but she couldn't help teasing her friend about something she would never admit. Cristina had always disliked to be far from an OR but when Burke stayed with her at home, she never complained that much. He just managed to keep her busy.

"Ok, I'm done here Meredith. I'll just hang up the phone if you keep telling me crap like that. I'm a freaking surgeon! Not a desperate housewife waiting for her man!"

"Did you try reading? Or doing the laundry?"

"Yes and yes."

"Yes to both? Whooo, this time off really has turned you upside down."

"I told you. Anyway, there's nothing to clean here. I live with Burke, remember? So, any suggestions before he finds me doing something really crazy like baking cakes and trying to eat them? Or are you as useless and dangerous as a best friend as Izzie is in a hospital?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Cristina. I wish I do but I really don't. You know what?"

" I'm not sure I want to know, but you're going to tell me anyway." Cristina wasn't faking. Idleness made her crazy and bitter. She hated to be useless and she needed her daily rush of adrenaline to feel alive.

"You and I aren't normal people. So we can't do normal people things. We just don't enjoy them. We need intensity."

"And?"

"We're doers. We can't just sit there and wait. It's our punishment for being so smart and so hot, I guess." Meredith could picture Cristina slightly smiling as she spoke into the phone.

"Surgeons are made to cut. Actors are made to play. They don't just watch the movie, they do it."

"Why can't the Chief understand that?"

"Because the rule doesn't apply to him, he's the Chief! I'm sorry Cristina. You are ever so loving and sweet today but I must leave you for a much more pleasant affair."

"Hanging out with Callie?"

"I have an appointment with my mom's doctor."

"Not that bad. At least, you'll have to deal with medicine today."

"Bye Cristina. I'll call you later."

"Ok, bye." Cristina threw the phone on the coach in a gesture of frustration then decided to rejoin it.

'She is supposed to be the supportive friend and she leaves me alone for her mum! Who cares about mothers?'

She closed her eyes, trying to figure out how she could spend the next 8 hours. Maybe she could sleep and wait for Burke to come home. But she wasn't tired and she couldn't sleep without him. Damn it! She had become so dependant on him for anything.

Meredith was right.

She wouldn't have got bored if he had been there instead of this damn hospital. He knew how to fill her time. They could read, cuddled up to each other. Being together was enough for her, at least for a few hours, even though she always wanted to be at the hospital.

Because she was a doer, a surgeon, who needed to be cutting, an actor who needed to be on stage.

What was wrong with that? She loved opened chests, blood and exposed viscera.

If she had really been an actor, she would have chosen to be Dennis Hopper in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Not that she enjoyed killing people but horror films had always been her favorite movies.

Cristina Yang was hardcore.

She always got excited as a teenage when she watched characters covered with blood, legs and arms flying in the air. Her friends thought she was a kind of perverse but she was too bright not to know it was only cinema.

Blood was tomato juice, organs were made from clay, and every one who got murdered never really died.

Screaming girls, people with awful secrets and skeletons in their closet, literally, killers leaving disturbing phone calls or walking zombies just washed her mind of everything.

Resolved to get rid of the boredom that had grown over her, she grabbed her key and exited their apartment.

If Burke was lucky enough today to cut someone open today, there was no reason she couldn't also enjoy herself. She'd think later of a way to make him pay for having so much control on her life.

Fake blood was better than no blood at all.


	2. Chapter 2

When Cristina entered the apartment later that evening, Burke was already home, making dinner.

"Hey."

"Hey. You're home early."

"Yes, I thought you'd like me to cook for you after having a bad day."

"Bad day? It wasn't a bad day but I'll let you cook for me anyway."

She opened the fridge and took a beer. Burke slightly turned to look at her, puzzled with her statement. "No surgery and not even the right to watch one and it wasn't a bad day? Are you Okay Cristina?" He asked, a fake concern in his tone.

This girl never stopped surprising him. She didn't seem upset or pissed of. She was sitting behind the counter, slipping her drink and watching him cut the onions. Like she did every normal day. As if she had scrubbed in. As if she hadn't been forced to rest.

"As a matter of fact, it didn't start well. I have an over controlling boyfriend who wants to rule my life and doesn't want me to learn anything."

Burke stopped, gaping at her mocking intonation. He had prepared himself to meet an angry and outraged Cristina. He had expected her to yell at him for the way Bailey and he had sent her home this morning.

But instead, he was facing a peaceful, spunky Cristina. There was a glimpse in her look that said she was delighted because she had put him off balance. She was playing and enjoyed the situation. He wasn't sure what that game was about, but it seemed worth the try. He raised an eyebrow and let a large smile spread on his face.

"Poor baby. He sounds like a monster." He had moved closer, still grinning and put his arms around her waist, to comfort her.

She pretended to fall apart but he tightened his embrace before kissing her neck. He couldn't resist a teasing and relaxed Cristina.

"But he didn't manage to ruin your day, did he?" He whispered in her ear before he went on, covering her skin with brushes of his lips.

"Oh no, he didn't! I am a smart and resourceful woman… " She was now giggling both under the warm touch that gave her chills and because Burke had no idea where she had spent the day.

"Yes, you are…." His words were genuine.

Every time he thought he could predict her reaction, she entered a new phase of development. And this made him lose total control. He reached for her lips, his left hand playing with her hair while the right was caressing her cheek.

He craved this puzzling, mysterious, intoxicating woman who made his head spin with a single smile. But as he started to draw her towards the bedroom, she pulled apart.

"If you wanted sex, you should have been here this afternoon. Now isn't the time. You're cooking for me, remember. It was a bad day."

Out of breath, he watched her walk to the kitchen.

That was it.

She was leading him by the nose. That was her way to punish him for forbidding her to stay at the hospital. Whatever game she was playing, he wouldn't let her win so easily. Burke stepped back to where Cristina had sit and was pretending to read.

"I'm starving too."

He removed her magazine and started to kiss her again. He gently pressed his lips on her forehead, her eyelids, and her nose before catching her below lip with his. He could feel her quiver under his lips. He had to act carefully if he didn't want her to run away.

"So, what did you do today?" He proceeded with his soft exploration of her face.

"I witnessed two murders. Actually, two slaughters would be more exact."

"What??" Burke quickly loosened his grip on her waist and looked at her, full of concern and worry. "What happened?? Why did you wait to tell me?"

She had nearly succumbed to his charms.

The warmth and closeness of his strong body was so hard to resist.

But Cristina had regained control in this moment, so she quickly brushed aside the guilt she felt for toying with him, looking into his beautiful panicked eyes.

It was her game.

She had to win

"I didn't think you were interested in zombies and serial-killers pursuing pretty girls to kill them. I thought you were more one of a Bodyguard type of movie watcher." She sounded innocent, as if the idea that her words could have meant something worse hadn't even crossed her mind.

He should have guessed she wouldn't drop the grudge so easily. After all, he had deprived her of surgery today.

She wanted him to pay.

"So, you went to the movies. Was it good?"

"Yep. It was great. Full of blood and dying people who could've used surgery." She was now picking at the vegetables he had cut for dinner.

"Really? You enjoy horror movies?"

"They are my favorite." She resumed her reading of the magazine that Burke had previously removed from her hands. She knew perfectly Burke was now looking at her in disbelief. She tried to act as if she didn't care.

"Are you seriously telling me that you love watching stabbings and bloodbaths?"

"Yes I do, it's funny!"

"Funny? How can it be funny? It's disgusting!"

"Come on, Burke! You're a big boy. Has anybody told you it wasn't real? And by the way, if you had allowed me to watch your surgery, I wouldn't have needed it."

"I'll never understand you… How can you spend money and time watching those kinds of things."

"Have you ever seen one?"

"No, I haven't but… "

"If you go to the movies with me tomorrow, I promise I'll be nice with you for the whole evening." Her fingers were making circles on his chest and a very suggestive smile had spread on her face.

"And the next two days?" His lips curved into a cocky grin.

"You don't have to work?"

"No, the chief gave me the days off because he thought I had to keep an eye on you." He teased her.

"I don't need any baby-sitter!" She threw a chunk of carrot at him playfully.

He grabbed her petite wrist and pulled her closer, howling with laughter. "Don't play with your dinner."

"Don't act so smugly."

"So, is it a deal?"

"What deal?"

"I'll go to the movies with you, and you'll be a nicer person for two days."

She pretended to hesitate a few seconds, their eyes shinning with a glint of amusement and desire. "Okay."

Burke pushed away the food on the table and lifted her without breaking their passionate kiss.

Cristina began to think that vacation couldn't be too bad. Tomorrow could even be more interesting.

A suivre…

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	3. Chapter 3

« Come on Burke, don't be such a baby. »

She was dragging him by the hand inside the cinema. Burke seemed reluctant to move quicker and had a sulk on his face.

« Why did you chose the worst movie on screen ? »

« It's not the worst ! And you made a promise, so now you have to keep it ! I honoured my part of the contract.»

She had stopped and was now facing him, his hand still in hers.

« I've been very nice with you more than once this night. It's your turn now. »

A charming and mischievous smile lingered on Burke's face. But before he could utter a single word Cristina warned him.

« Burke...… If you can't keep your word, don't ever dream to have sex again in a cinema, at home or anywhere else !"

Burke laughed heartily as she anticipated his thoughts.

« Dr Yang, you have a diabolic manner.I assume I have to yield to your threat." He admitted as she pushed him inside the dark.

« You are the boss of me. You know I can't resist you. »

The streets were crowded and they weaved in and out of the passer-by, refusing to loose their grip even for a second.

« You seem to know much about Horror movies. »

« I do. When I was a teenage, I used to hide from my mother in cinema. Even horror movies were less scary than to spend time with her.»

Burke giggled and tugged her against him, his arms over her shoulders.

« What a nice girl you must have been. »

He smiled at her as she shrugged, slightly annoyed by his remark.

« Your mother can't be that bad, look at the wonderful and gorgeous daughter she has raised.»

He kissed slightly her forehead. Cristina flashed him a genuine smile.

« Thank you …But anyway, you are totally wrong. »

« You're not wonderful and gorgeous ? Ouch !»

Cristina's elbow had just poked his side.

« You're asking ? »

Burke couldn't help laughing at his girlfriend's fake indignation.

« I just wanted to be sure you knew it. » He whispered it before kissing her cheek gently.

« And i'm sure you were a wonderful and gorgeous teenage girl. Even if I don't know if you could have beared to be your boyfriend at that time. I would have never dared to kiss you in front of a ll this hemoglobin.»

« Momma's boy would have been scared ? Anyway, I don't know if I could have handled an ultra sensitive Burke either. »

« Don't be so sure. You would have fallen for me. Girls were very fond of me. »

He glanced her a cocky smile as she pulled her head back.

« Really ? Did you buy them candies or did you just corner them after biology classes ? »

« You're insulting me. I was much more subtile. I used to write them poetry. »

Burke knew that she was going to make fun of him. But he didn't mind because he also knew that this moment was precious. They rarely talked about how they used to be before they met before their life changed for the best. It was one of the longest talk they had ever had on the subject. And Cristina's giggling made him want to go on.

« So romantic of you Dr. Burke. How come that all I got was a coffee ?»

Burke gasped in surprise at her teasing comment. Behind the sarcasm he could feel a bit of jealousy. Cristina was actually admitting she liked to be wooed. This day definitely full of surprises.

« For a special woman, I used a special way. »

He snaked his arm across in front of her so he held her tight in front of him.

« I couldn't take the risk to fail. I'm sure a poem wouldn't have been enough for you and I missed time to write a whole book. Was coffee a bad idea?»

He knew the answer. They didn't need words or poems to express their feelings. But sometimes silent conversations were frustrating, only half confession. And Burke, even if he didn't doubt a second she valued their relationship, wanted her to say it loud.

« You couldn't have had a best one. » Burke lightly wrapped a strand of Cristina's as she brushed her cheek against his shoulder, leaning a slight kiss on it.

As they resumed their walk, Burke thought they seldom had been so well in osmosis outside an OR or their appartment.

Their day had been perfect. Even the movie wasn't that bad with her at his side. It was rare to see Cristina enjoy something beside surgery. And sex naturally. Even if he didn't still understand why she liked them, he was thankful to horror movies for bringing that spark in her eyes.

She had enjoyed herself like a child, laughing and commenting. She knew the names of the film director and the actors. She told even him a funny anecdote which had happened on the set. Burke was amazed by her knowledge. She hadn't just watched many movies, she was a real specialist. She would never stop astonishing him.

He had quickly lost interest in watching the screen. For more than one hour, he gazed at her in wonder. He laughed when she did because the sound of her voice made him happy. He chilled when she did because the touch of her skin made him shiver. And when she jumped in alarm, he just hold her tightly.

Burke was the first to break the soft silence of their walk. He was so comfortable with her petite figure wrapped inside his arm that he felt the luckiest man in the world.

« So, I told you my secret to seduce girls. What was yours? »

"I didn't go on very well with boys or men when I was younger." She sighed , her voice suddenly voiled with sadness and her gait became heavier.

He had felt so well that he might have pushed his luck too far. He cursed himself for causing her pain.

Burke pulled her closer and turned her face toward him, softly robbing her cheek with his finger.

« What's wrong baby ? » His steady voice was nearly a whisper as he spoke.

This sudden change in her eyes, the gloom of sorrows he had seen, frightened him.

« Nothing. Can we just talk about something else ? »

« Cristina… I'm sorry my question hurt you. »

He turned in order to face her. She wasn't looking at him but he knew all track of cheerfulness had left her.

« No, no ! It's not you. I just…It's just that these years weren't the happiest in my life.»

She looked so unsure and fragile. She raised her head slowly. Her eyes were silently pleading him to give up the subject. Burke gently stroke her hair and drew her to him.

« I wish I had been there for you. But I am now and we are happy. »

« Yes we are... » A shy smile appeared on her face. « Except when you eat all my popcorn. »

Burke laughed heartily to her teasing, relieved to see she had pushed her gloomy thoughts away.

« Want to stop and eat something before going home? »

«Only if you promise not to pick into my plate."

« I promise. » He said before kissing her deeply in an attempt to erase all track of hurt.


	4. Chapter 4

Their lunch was quiet. Both of them were lost in their thoughts. Even if the sadness had left Cristina's face, Burke knew her mind was still rambling on bitter memories. He had never pictured her as a happy teenager but her past seemed more painful than what he had first thought.

He felt helpless and was still mad at himself for ruining this perfect moment. They paid and were about to resume their walk when Cristina suddenly stopped. Burke glanced her an inquiring look but she started talking before he could say anything.

« You know, these aren't just movies. They are special to me."

Burke moved closer but remained quiet, waiting for her to go on. He had learned not to push her and to patiently wait she found the right words.

« In a different way that coffee is also special. I started to watch them because my father used to be a fan. »

« Oh, I see...… »

Burke was unsure what to say next. He wasn''t expecting her to open up. It was the first time she talked about her father. At the beginning of their relationship he had wanted to ask her but she had answered none of his questions. She had even pretended once she hadn't any father, only a step father. He had given up, convincing himself it wasn't important.

« So, you used to watch them together? »

« My father died when I was nine. I started to watch them alone when I was fifteen. »

The sound of the traffic was nearly covering her voice. They were facing in the middle of the hurried crowd, time seemed to have stopped. Burke was breathing slowly, trying to find the real meaning behind her words. There was regret and despair in her voice but also something brighter. Like expectation. Just a lighter note when she uttered the words « my dad ». Burke was disconcerted, public talk wasn't exactly Cristina's favourite activity but it seemed as if words couldn't stop flowing from her mouth.

« I have no memory of him. I just learned one day that he was dead. My mother never talked about him when I asked questions. I wasn't allowed to assist to the funeral. »

Her breath was jerky and her eyes were flickering but she had to do it. She wanted to do it. Cristina didn't believe in the power of confession until now but she wanted to give it a try. Because he always managed to turn bad into good. Because if someone could make the pain go away that was him. Because, as far as she could remember, for the first time in her life she glimpsed happiness.

« Why ? »

She could read so many feelings in his look at this moment that her will flattered. Wasn't she selfish for wanting him to share her burden ? Couldn't they just live the present and forget about the past ?

« Cristina… »

Once again he was here to steady her, to comfort her, to make her stronger just by saying her name.

« I want to know. You can't carry that by your own. I can help.»

It was like he was holding her into his hands, preventing her from melting away. She took a deep breath and felt his arms tighten their embrace. She was ready to tell the whole story.

« I didn't know him. I should have known him but my mother never talked about him. She never answered my questions and one day I stopped asking. »

She sighed, searching the strength to go on into Burke's deep eyes.

« I knew he called sometimes but my mother never let me talk to him. I grew up with the idea that he was somewhere in the world and that the day would come when I met him. It was just a question of patience. I was often angry he had left me alone with her. But most of the time I didn't think about him. He was just a ghost who was supposed to become real one day.»

Burke was holding his breath, afraid that even the smallest inspiration might stop her. He could feel his muscles aching as the pain in her voice infiltrated him. Every word she uttered echoed in his soul, punching him slightly.

« And then, something happened… »

It was as if they were connected. He could litteraly read her mind. He could feel every chill, every tension in her body, every stream of blood in her veins like it was his.

« Yes…He died. »

« I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry… » He pulled her against his chest. She was this little girl who had just lost her father, shaking in his arms. He rocked her, slowly stroking her hair. Her voice was barely audible when she resumed to talk.

« I didn't see him. I didn't say him goodbye. Life just went on. It was like he had never existed for anybody. But I knew better. I knew I missed something. I knew that I could never have back what I had just lost. He had left forever this time and he had brought a part of me with him. How are you supposed to know who you are when you don't even know where you are from ?»

She was looking at him, her eyes throwing off sparks. Burke gave her a slight smile to blaze the fire under control. He could feel the incandescence of her feelings through the fabric. She was burning inside and he couldn't let her be consumed with anger.

« You are Cristina Yang. You are a smart and wonderful surgeon. You are the woman I love. »

She slightly opened her mouth to protest and utter a snappish remark. But these words were so powerful and genuine she couldn't help them to reach her heart. As their meaning filled her, her heart beat steadied, her skin cooled down and a smile appeared on her face. She was Cristina Yang. She was a smart and wonderful surgeon. She was the woman he loved. Her smile widened and she felt the tension of both their bodies drop.

« But I have not always been like that. I tried to live with that unknown part of me for a while. I just denied I needed it. Then a day, when I was fifteen I found a box in the attic with his name on it. It was full of VCR. The titles were carefully noted but I couln't recognize the writing. »

Her mouth felt dry, she wasn't used to talk so long. Burke deserved to know, she reminded herself, and he seemed to be right, he could help.

« It was my only link to him. I don't know what I was looking for but I spent nights watching them again and again until the tapes start to be damaged. At the beginning, I scanned every face hoping I would catch a glimpse of a familiar one. But quickly I gave up and simply enjoyed the movies. They were a part of his life, a part of him and they also became a part of me. That's it.»

« How did your mother react ? She must have been mad at you. »

Cristina smirked. Burke always guessed right.

« That's why I started to love my father. It pissed off my mother to see her little Beverly Hills daughter enjoy the « unwatchable ». It was a really good reason for me to go on. »

Burke grinned. His Cristina was back and she had opened a window on her life. He had always wanted to know things. Earlier in their relationship she didn't see the use of it. But today, she was the one who had insisted that he watched this movie with her. He realized now what it was about. It wasn't about the game or retaliation for the forced vacation. She had made him a gift. A present he knew was unique. Precious. Sumptuous. Just like her.

« Marry me»

She gaped in astonishement, her eyes flickering, her breath irregular.

« Marry me Cristina Yang »

« No, I should say no…. » She pressed a finger against his mouth as he was going to speak. His eyes were filled with disappointment.

« But you are the one who made me whole. You brought back the missing piece. And this piece is also a part of you. »

She pulled back her finger, slightly brushing it against his soft lips.

Feelings were overwhelming him. He couldn't think. He had heard the words. He couldn't simply believe such a bliss was possible. Had she just said what he thought ?

« So, is it a yes ? »

« Yeah »

They didn't move.They were like two magnets that couldn't drift apart. Lost in each other gaze, fingers intertwined, they were in the middle of the street, beaming at what they could read on the other's face. Their lips came closer but none of them rushed the kiss. The warmth of their breath was a caress on their skin. A promise for the future. Neither the walkers, neither the sounds of the streets existed when their lips finally met in a tender and ardent embrace. They were each other's world. They were each other's life. Nothing else mattered.


End file.
